Sorry but I just couldn’t let this pass without some special mention. Some guy in Wales kindly told me that I could get back to being a ‘kept man’. Wow. I think this is supposed to some sort of insult but I’m not exactly sure.
Believe it or not this one little comment explains a whole lot of other stuff that I’m not going to go into in detail. What I will do is call into question the attitudes implicit in the statement.
For a start there is a brother to this comment… or perhaps a sister? After all, if *I* as a ‘house-spouse’ am a ‘kept man’… then by definition all the females out there who look after their kids are ‘kept women’. Clearly, being included in that mighty horde is in no way an insult!
Here’s a story for you. Hmm… I was going to tell you just why the wife left home at age 14 to go live with her sister, but that can wait for another day too. Instead I’ll tell you a story from the time we arrived in Australia.
As I said a day or two ago, by the time the father-in-law died I’d got to quite like him, but he *did* have some attitudes that to me were really odd. One being his blatant sexism. He highlighted this best whilst the wife and I were out for a meal with him, and her brother Anthony. During the meal both the old man *and* Anthony expressed the view that a woman had no right to work when there were men out there looking for jobs. They both decided there were very few jobs a woman could do that men couldn’t do better… so a woman should only be taken on by an employer if there were no men available. The wife and I were gobsmacked and didn’t even bother to challenge it particularly strongly… it was so obviously ingrained there was no point.
What both of the guys failed to understand was that the wife was even *then* earning more herself than any of the males in her immediate family had earned even if they were totalled together!! She was a member of a profession that required an incredible aptitude for mathematics and the application of logic. At that time she was being internationally recognised for the depth of her knowledge! She was *deeply* offended that they saw so little value in either her ability or achievement. Since then of course she has advanced and developed further and is near the top of the tree of a multi-billion dollar property company. This was 15 years ago… I’d hoped the sort of attitude that thinks women had no place in the workforce had died out. It seems it hasn’t in Wales!
Clearly, back in the dim days of antiquity the general rule was that a woman’s place was in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant. It’s quite sad that even in the enlightened days of this new century there are pockets where men still think of themselves as the ‘superior sex’ and there is something shameful about bringing up kids, doing housework and the like.
Quite sad really. I wonder how long these pockets of male resistance can last? Is Wales is going to stay in the dark ages??
The Eclectic Interweb 
hello chris
are you still taking other people’s comments from your blogg?
Kelly (the niece you liked) has wrote an essay on their time with you. please have the balls to post it on your blogg as the other side of the story. it seems that you are not bothered by other people’s comments and rightly so you are your own person after all, but again have the balls to leave kelly’s essay on your blogg so other people can see her side of the story.
Kelly’s essay
Long have we taken a back seat whilst you have attempted to blacken our names. I’m almost certain you will remove these comments, revealing your cowardess for not showing both sides of a story.
Firstly I must apologise for the burden and inconvenience we became to you. We never intended to stay for the three months and three days that we did (not the 4 months as you overexaggerated) It was due to unforseen circumstances as you well know.
Also I apologise for taking the bedding we were using as I’m sure as heartless as you were in tossing us out into the street (you’re supposed to be foster parents – laughable) you can live without one set of the dozen pieces of bedding you have, so we did not freeze.
I must point out several things you missed whilst ripping us to shreds during our parting conversation.
You mentioned my husband had not mown your lawn. I remember your wife telling us how much you enjoyed working in the garden. Still my husband should be doing it!!?? I’m sure you will have noticed my husband is the shy type, not the person to ignite a conversation (much like your wife) but happy to enage when spoken to (unlike your wife) He pretty much keeps himself to himself. I am 100% certain if you’d have asked for his help, with anything, he would have happily obliged .As he did when you asked him to fit a toilet at the guides hut free of charge (not like we didn’t need the money) Had you not damaged your toe he would have continued to fit it at no cost.
Had you asked him to fix the tea urn, which seemed to be top of the list for throwing us into the street, again he would’ve obliged. We both believed it to be broken beyond repair. How ridiculous did you sound when you reeled off that you knew exactly how to fix it and it wouldn’t take two minutes to do, but you wanted to my husband to do it??? It just proves how bone idle you really are. Yes my husband has recently qualified as a plumber but oddly enough they didn’t teach him the inns and outs of a tea urn. Strange that???? You basically wanted a pair of skivvies to do everything for you, which your wife would then praise you for doing!
You stated how your wife worked a 6 day week. Had you actually drawn yourself away from this ridiculous site Opinion Australia on which all you did all day was whinge, and did some housework maybe she could have relaxed on a Saturday. Even when you attempted to do a load of laundry, you put the powder in the wrong compartment and heaven forbid if I told you, you were wrong. You’re never wrong! I had to remove the drawer and clean out the residue left in the liquid drawer roughly twice maybe three times, just shows how much washing you did over the three months!
We were so unhelpful that we didn’t offer to take your daughters back and for school and to their after school classes for as long as needed whilst your foot healed and you couldn’t drive. What terrible relatives we are!
Whenever my husband or I used something we would ensure we tidied after ourselves. No we didn’t tidy after your lazy, ungrateful daughters, how will they learn if you continue to mother them? I cleaned the bathroom tops we used, regularly. I even emptied the commode which one of your daughters did their business in and left, to the extent it stunk out the bathroom, obviously their used to living in such squalour! After several attempts of us bleaching the bathroom I eventually discovered the route of the smell. It had been left for so long it had mark the sides of the bowl. It was disgusting! As disgusting as it was both my husband and I cleaned both the chair and commode, with my husband wretching at the stench. Did I leave it for you to do, no I didn’t, are your children my responsibility?? No they’re not, however I did not want to leave this for you to clean. It was gross! Plus I put my foot down at picking up your daughters dirty washing, which include stained underwear with what, I won’t embarass your eldest by writing.
I recollect the first day we arrived we offered to pay lodge, however you refused commenting that we were guests. Guests do not pay lodge! As did you refuse for weeks to let us help with anything. We were always dismissed. I suggested one evening that if you told me what to cook of an evening then I would ensure food was on the table for when everyone arrived home. You never told me what you wanted cooked (plus you were trying to stick to a diet cook book, its not like I could cook anything) and there was never anything there to improvise. Yes you had cupboards full of condiments and sauces but nothing to make a meal! You would usually bring something home after collecting the girls from school. Then I would regularly help prepare.
Your family continously left on lights, radios (two radios playing in the same room) three PC’s left running day and night, My husband and I endlessly switching things off in the hope of possibly saving a fraction on the elctricity bill.
You accused us of not locking the house up when we left, hold up my hands we were guilty of not locking the back doors once, only because we didn’t realise we had a key for them. The day we went to the garage and you scorned my husband for leaving the house unlocked, you were still in the house. We both heard you talking to the dogs in the kitchen, so maybe the blame lay closer to home. You should have checked if we were there before you left the house unlocked!!?? Hmmm there’s that communication issue again!
I emptied and re-filled the dishwasher on a daily basis. I remember returning from work about 6:30 to find the dishwasher full of the clean contents from the previous evening. I proceeded to empty it a refill it with the pile of dishes stacked across the worktop, you’d basically left them specifically for me as this had become one of my jobs instead of a job your lazy daughters were receiving pocket money for. Even though you were at home all day!!
If we never did anything how was it there came to be a running joke amongst your family that I was to blame for everything. Eg, something had been tidied away to where it wasn’t usually kept. I bet you took the credit for when I cleared and polished all the computer desks, however I don’t know why I bothered as it just looked as though a bomb had hit within hours of clearing it!
How about the shelf you were too lazy to erect in the bathroom. This time we took the hint as it had been sat on the bathroom floor for weeks. Maybe your back was preventing you from doing it as you did seem to have problems with it whenever your wife was around. However my husband erected it and offered to fill the holes he previously drilled as where you requested he erect it, it didn’t fit. I then cleaned the bathroom, t which I suppose you again had the credit for as you wife never thanked either of us!
I seriously had to bite my tongue whilst you and your wife (supposedly my fathers sister) be-littled my fathers side of the family. A brother you’ve not seen in years, you talked about him as though he were mud when he has been nothing but supportive of my husband and I. We sat with gritted teeth not to rock the boat or cause a scene. How dare you! It seemed to be your favourite past time, putting people down. I don’t recall a good word said about anyone. You even did it to your own family. Your daughter & son in law regularly read hurtful comments you would write about both them and us.
Do you even realise how heartbroken your daughter was that you made her dress for her wedding day in a museum toilet??You have a four bedroom house, why on earth would you make her dress for what should have been one of the most important days of her life and it should’ve been important to you as well in a museum toilet.
Even when your daughter, and her family leave you continue to be disrespectful, with occasional snide comments about them. Any father should relish at having his daughter and her family to stay, especially when you’ve seen so little of her. I’m sure you made a great first impression on your son in law!
Their car is still sat off the drive with a burnt out engine. Although my husband and I both heard your son in law arrange collection of it, it was never collected. It has sat outside your house for two months as you are too lazy to pick up a phone to re-arrange collection of it.
You were giving us a rendition of how useless we’d been the day prior to our eviction, the previous night we lazed all day, then came down to ask what was for tea? You BOTH know that was a bare faced lie, so much so, that you changed your story when writing on here! I had been doing washing that day, for which I was scorned for, “do your washing in the week as I need to do mine on the weekend” your wife said (as stated before, you’re incapable of doing the washing during the week) So it made no difference that my husband and I had also worked all week and had no clothes to wear for the following week. A load took an hour and forty minutes. I’m sure there wasn’t that many loads that I couldn’t fit just the one in! Then so you could fit more on the line, I brought in my clothes damp, after finding them shuffled and squashed up on the line so yours could be all spaced out! I also continued to bring in however many loads of washing your wife had done fold them neatly and put them into piles of who’s were who’s. which I did regularly! But nope in your eyes we did nothing! My actual question to you that evening regarding tea was in fact “would you like me to make some tea??” You directed me to your wife. again I asked her the same question, to which your wife blunty replied “i’m not hungry, and there’s nothing here anyway!” I then questioned “would you like me to make the girls (your daughters) something?” however their response was that they’d make themselves beans on toast. You both sat there using this as a reason for kicking us out knowing it was a lie!
When your relatives left, we were banished to their room at the back of the house. You told us it’s all equipped you shouldn’t need to leave the room! To which we took as black and white. You wanted your little family unit back and we were in the way, fair enough. We felt it best to stay out of the way in the back room, thinking we were doing you a favour. Nope we were being I quote “free loading spongers” Spongers who offered to pay rent even though they were far from flush! Are we such ogres, such unapproachable people that you couldn’t talk to us??? You couldn’t ask us for help? The situation, tension, awkwardness could’ve been long avoided if you had just talked to us! Problem is that none of you possess the people skills in which to do so. Instead you admitedly, leave objects lying around in the hope of us taking the hint it needed something doing. No wonder your house was such a tip! Unfortunately we do not possess psychic powers. Unless you tell us, we don’t know! All this confrontation could’ve been avoided had you just talked to us.
I like the way you’ve commented on being a kept man, I believe its spot on! You don’t really need to look after the children. Your eldest is more than capable of looking after herself, however she is far too lazy when it comes to things like cleanliness! All you have to do is drive them to after school activities. The rest of the time you are sat in front of your computer day in day out. So the nail has been hit on the head. Indeed you are a kept man. Your wife earns the money and you go out and spend it (usually on things you really don’t need!)
Back to another of your comments, which i’m sure will be changed after you’ve read this! You liked the neice…..sad to upset her!!??? What utter rubbish, you wrote that for the sympathy vote, you just realised that when I broke down they were tears of hurt & disbelief that family could do this!
Yes you did suggest to us about having the camper van checked before hand and we tried the method you suggested and they didn’t do it anymore when we contacted them. We hoped you had more suggestions on how we could get things checked and you came back with the same results ring this company and they’ll come out and check it to which we would endlessly tell you they didn’t do it! I was thinking of suggesting you get checked for Altzheimers as you have a very poor memory!
And again, you did suggest buying the camper from us on our return but our budget was way under yours. We couldn’t afford the price range you were looking at to begin with, so what was the point!
We’ve learnt valuable lessons since we’ve been here. People don’t have to be blood related to be true family and some of your family can be total strangers! We’ve learnt who to love and who to trust. I would rather spend a lifetime with my, I quote “foul mouthed, Vicky Pollard” sister in law than ever have to spend another minute with you
I now kindly request that you refrain from commenting on any more members of my family, my husband and myself included, as i’ll request my family will do yours and I hope our paths should never have to cross again. I believe your comments to be a form of slander!
You truely are a horrible person both inside and out, you take pleasure in attacking and battling people on your pathetic blog. You’ve taught me to never end up a miserable, twisted lonely person like you!
not bad from the niece you liked
please do not write anymore about he two n’s or their family as requested by myself and kelly (the niece you liked)and i hope there are no more communacations between us.
Unfortunately I did read the letter that was posted.
All I have to say is I spent some time there and had the best time of my life. Yes not everything is perfect but it’s family life and it’s what life is all about.
The final and most appropriate point is if it was that bad then surely you should have left. I don’t believe anyone was keeping you there aginst your will
I wonder what type of person it is that lives somewhere rent free for such a length of time and then critisizes the manner in which that generous family is living while they are invading their house and routine.
Once more I had a great time there and can only hope that the ban on people staying is only applicable to the people who don’t appreciate what is being offered
PS: I’m saving as we speak but it may be a few years and if you move don’t forget to tell me where your going. Even if it means me sleeping in a tent in the yard
Just sorry I’m not as eloquent as either of my uncles but you get the point nevertheless
I’m sure we can find you a tent 🙂