Kids… such a joy to have.

This house runs on chaos… it’s true. Regulars might wonder why I spend *so* much time wittering on about how aggravating the kids can be… are… and how they seem to either do nothing… or maybe worse… do just the wrong thing at the wrong time. Here’s an example of why I get so frustrated.

This morning I had a long chat with the wife in the UK. She was actually *at* Heathrow minutes away from boarding the plane and with the kids next to me we decided that instead of her catching a taxi home as she and I had arranged previously, because we missed her so much we’d all try to go pick her up at 7:00 a.m., maybe have breakfast at the airport, and then take them on to school.

So off she goes to board her plane thinking happy thoughts… and *then* the youngest tells me that *she* has to be in school by 8:30 latest… but doesn’t know why. I ask the eldest… she knows nothing.

After some minutes pulling out my hair, the youngest grabs her school bag, rummages around in the bowels and pulls out the school newsletter which she presents to me.

I scour through this rag, and right on the back page is an announcement to the effect that Friday will be the day of the “Foundation Assembly” to be held, not at the school, but at the local civic centre… and *all* pupils will be attending, i.e. the eldest as well as the youngest daughter! The event is, it seems, in similar celebratory vein as the Silver Jubilee Fair I wrote about a few days ago and just as pointless.

As far as I could make out, the kids are all to be bussed to the civic centre. The buses leave the school for the civic centre at 8:30 a.m. sharp.

We, of course, will be at the airport at 7:00 and *at best* it’s an hour and a half driving time to get from airport to school. You might think we could just make it… and indeed we *might*. However, it may be we’ll meet some heavy traffic… bearing in mind the race to get back to the school will take place right in the middle of the rush hour this is a distinct possibility if not inevitability!!

Also let it not be forgotten that this ‘hour and a half’ is all assuming the wife’s plane arrives on time *and* she gets out of customs without any hassle! Neither are good assumptions to make at the best of times and, yes, the ongoing and constant terrorist threat means this *isn’t* ‘the best of times’.

Basically, when we meet the wife off the plane… whenever it lands and whenever she makes an appearance… we’ll just have to forget breakfast, grab her and her cases and make a mad dash to the car to race back towards the school as fast as we can manage!!

I wrote a note in the diaries the kids carry to and from school to let their teachers know there is a ‘slight problem’ and that we’ll try get the girls to the civic centre as soon as we can… even if we can’t make it back to the school. Right now I’m not even sure they’ll get there for the end proceedings never mind the start!!

The other thing that excites me no end is that *parents* are ‘invited to attend’, i.e. show your faces or else. You can imagine how my wife will receive the news that after a gruelling 28 hour flight she would be expected to sit through this ‘assembly’ just to show the family flag!! I’m going to have to try to convince her somehow that she really wants to go… but right now I don’t know how I’m going to manage it. 🙂

I asked the kids why they hadn’t felt it important to inform either of us of this upcoming event *before* we made arrangements to collect their mother… or even whilst. Their answers… both of them just said “I don’t know… “.

Kids… who’d have ’em??

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