The Eclectic Interweb

Yesterday was Christmas Eve, Eve and I was really not in the mood to do much. Absolutely knackered and on top of everything else, I have a pain in my side where I broke a rib. Super!! Still, there was a small win, when I actually fell *below* my first target weight at 134.60 kilos. Much as I was pleased with the weight, I knew it wouldn’t last because on Christmas Eve my daughters come around with tons of food. Despite everything I’m trying to do, I still have no willpower, and the youngest had made this totally irresistible “Cobb Salad”. I loved the crusty bread itself, and the filling was even better. I found myself having repeat slices all day and even into the night! Mmmm… 🙂

As an afterthought I’ve realised exactly what happened to the diet, Instead of having *meals* I ‘picked’ and snacked all day, which for me is a recipe for disaster, and disaster (relatively) was what happened. It was simply the availability of snack foods that I couldn’t resist, and never could. Ah well, live and not learn I suppose.

Anyway, this relatively huge food intake couldn’t go unnoted and today I was ‘rewarded’ with a weight increase to 155.6 kilos. I hope this reverses soon… maybe starting today when I visit my wife who is quite good at keeping my diet following the right path. 🙂

Here I have to note that this is the first Christmas since we came to Australia that I’ve not made *any* food. No turkey, no trifle, nothing. I was feeling quite guilty, especially about the trifle which both my eldest and I really love. I’d bought one from Woolworths but it was really gross compared to my own. Part of the lack of cooking was my own need to reduce my food intake, partly cost, and (mostly) depression. Even so, I feel I should really have made the effort to at least make a trifle if nothing else.

It’s also the first Christmas there hasn’t been a pile of presents for the under the tree. My income is severely limited by having to exist on the state pension but last year I was able to supplement my income with money from DoorDash. This year, combined problems from the surgery, the damage to my knee and the pulmonary issues meant I was unable to work at all in the run-up to the holiday, so had no additional source of funds. I really felt awful. I know they understood but that wasn’t the point, they’d bought *me* a pile of presents and I really felt guilty. I had no reason to, it’s just that I’m “Dad” and Dad *always* gives out gifts at Christmas.

Anyway, things are what they are and, if I survive the next year in both body and mind, I’ll try again. In the meantime, I have to pull myself together and get into the frame of mind that will control the diet. Reduced stomach size or not, it’s still too easy to get back into the habit of picking at whatever is lying around, i.e. pretty much what happened yesterday. As I said, I’m going to the wife’s today so the opportunities for picking will be *very* limited. I’m seriously hoping that one day will be enough to get my head back in the game. 🙂

Whatever happens, I wish all readers of the blog a very Happy Christmas for those Christians out there and happy holidays to the rest of us. Stay safe.