The Eclectic Interweb

Bad enough that I had to get up early at all… but what must be done has to be done. I woke 5:15 and lay there for a while wondering why I was awake… and after my brain shook some of the fuzz off, I got up… and that’s where it all went wrong,

First stop getting the kids up so they could get ready for school. I wanted to be at the service centre bright and early so I’d be first in, they could fix the car, and I’d be home early with time to do ’stuff. The target was 8:00 a.m. which meant dropping the kids off at 7:00 to help me miss most of the traffic on the 40 minute drive from school to service station.

So I called the kids… who pretty much ignored me. Left the wife to chivvy them along and went downstairs to sort out lunchboxes for the three of them. Discovered the margerine was all gone… and the butter was in the fridge rock solid. Took butter out of fridge… decided to have *my* breakfast to get it out of the way. Dead simple… I’m on a powdered diet… so pour the mix into my cup, add water, add whisk, it all falls over. Nice.

Spent five minutes wiping ‘cafe au lait substitute’ off the kitchen counter.,.. off the kitchen floor… and off the f***** cat who had decided *then* was *just* the right moment to pester me to feed her.

Time moves on… remarkably rapidly. Kids eventually decide the extra sleep wasn’t worth the aural battering they were getting and got up… only to collapse moaning on the couches instead. Of course if they went to bed earlier they might not be so tired… but that’s another story.

More yelling ensued… during which period I realise I still haven’t found the ‘Starcard’ which I need in order to buy petrol… or get free service for the car. Off to the car to clean out nooks and crannies in case I dropped it in there. Nope. Oh bugger.

Kids eventually decide all the yelling has a purpose and slowly ooze their way to the car… which is when I realise the swimming pool is no longer fit to swim in… have to stop getting ready to scoop a plastic bag and cloth toy out of the filter box.

By now it is already is 7 :30 a.m. So I eventually get the kids into the car, wave goodbye to the wife who is setting off for work… and off we go. The kids get *another* earful for being selfish little brats… and after 25 mins behind a geriatric bus… we get to school. They get out. I am now free to zoom off to the service centre.

And then the ‘petrol warning light comes on’

To kill two birds with one stone I drive down to one of the petrol stations I frequent, pull up to the bowser… and go in to the counter. Have you got my Starcard please? We might have… what’s it for? Errr… petrol! Sorry she says… what company name. I tell her… oh yes here it is. Good says I… I can fill up the tank. Which I do…. to the top… $75 or so.

I go back in… tap a few keys… card is rejected. Eh what? I look at card… right company… wrong car. Looks like someone *else* is having a bad day. Interesting situation I’m in… I have no card… and no money to go with it 🙂 Cute.

Luckily I have an old receipt in the car and they are able to manually enter the data which allows me to set off. Into a stream of traffic that seems to have taken root. It is now 8:30… a half an hour later than I had intended to arrive … and I’m roughly one kilometre from home. But at least I have a full tank of gas and I’m mobile.

Oh yes… before I left the petrol station I decided to buy the morning paper to give me more to read while I wait for the car. I take out my $1.20 and it it on the counter. When she asks me for the money… it isn’t there. Where was it? Who knows.

Wasted another 5 mins before I realise I’d picked it up again and instead of putting it in with all my other change… such as it was… I’d put it in the pocket on the opposite side. Bye she says… hope your day improves. Nice sentiment I thought… but It didn’t.

So… I’m in traffic crawling along so slowly it felt as if I was going in reverse! But… keep the spirits up… I decide to speed things up by entering the service station address into the GPS to see if it could suggest an alternate, faster route. Well it couldn’t. Not only couldn’t it find an alternate route… it couldn’t find the original route… in fact it couldn’t find the street I needed at all! Oh great.

Luckily… well not luck this happens to me so regularly I try to take action to ameliorate the worst of it before it happens… I brought with me the telephone number of the service centre.

I call. Keep going she says… once we’d spent 5 minutes establishing which direction I was travelling in… down James Ruse Drive… turn right at the lights… we’re fourth on the left. Great. Something going right for a change.

Right? Not exactly. There I was getting ready to turn right at the lights… when I realise the road I was turning into was *not* the one I wanted… to get to the one I wanted I had to turn *left*… across three lanes of fast moving traffic… in the rush hour.

I indicate… close my eyes… and to the accompaniment of many a mellifluous horn concerto… I zoom into the left hand lane and there is the service centre… I’m here… it might be 9:30… but I’m here… whoopee… my troubles are at an end yes?? No.

I rock up to the counter apologise for being late and hand over the keys. By the way says I… I can’t find the Starcard… does it make a difference? Yes sir… without the card we can’t charge the company. Oho says I… prepared again since I still have that petrol receipt… but I have all the details of the card here… you can just jot them down and all will be well. Sorry… says he… that only works with the special machines petrol staions have… we have a hand swiping reader that *must* have the card. Ok says I… well can you ring this guy in Qantas who will tell you what to do… hopefully before *I* do. He rings… and of course… no guy at the other end.

He says sorry… can’t help it… company rules… jobsworth etc. I suggest that if the running of that place depends in the functionality of that one little card swipe machine then they are in serious danger of going bust if it should break!!!

He suggests he goes and talks to his manager. I suggest that would be a good idea. He comes back and suggests he rings the company… I concur. He rings the company… they say “Just send us the job number!” He says oh…. ok. I say Dear God give me strength… under my breath of course.

He goes back to extracting his brains in the Egyptian fashion… I goes off to sit in the upholstered chairs for four hours. The car still isn’t fixed… they had to order parts… they’ll call when they get them. I drive off and then wonder… do they have my phone number??

I should never have got up.